that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
