So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I didn't notice because vodka
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
