I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
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I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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