I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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