just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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