can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
