just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
