apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
