I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
