$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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