I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
