i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
