you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
