i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize