I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
