Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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