im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
