And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
