i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
