He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
