how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
