I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
