oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
