I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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