DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He felt like a one man threesome
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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