Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
