im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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