I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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