TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
