We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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