Michael Bay diarrhea
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
