And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
