a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
