he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
