Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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