You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
