party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize