are you still at the devil's house?
Dual....:-)
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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