Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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