The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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