You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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