i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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