his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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