That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
