so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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