So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I skipped work to stalk him.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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