How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
