are you still at the devil's house?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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