This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
