I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
