Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
