The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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