maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
