Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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