we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize