Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
