A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
