Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
