operation harelip BJ is a go
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
