Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
