Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
